#9 Breaking Free: Lina's Journey from Toxic Love to Thriving Business and True Love

Tania Stanly (00:00.729)

I'm just going to ask you about, like I can see it's all about, you know, the feminine energy. So I will be asking related to those, is there anything in particular you want me to ask you about?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (00:06.382)

Thanks.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (00:12.128)

Not necessarily, I'm open to see where the conversation brings us.

Tania Stanly (00:14.329)

Anything is fine. Okay, all right. Okay, so I will start by just asking you to tell you a backstory of what happened. And then I usually just allow you to talk about it. I'll give you like 10, 15 minutes to talk about it. And then once you're done, we will just talk, okay? All right, fine. Okay, I'm gonna clap. It's just syncing everything, all right.

Hi, Lina. Welcome to the Celesta Ball podcast. I'm so excited to have you here today.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (00:44.974)

Thank you so much for the invitation. I'm so excited to talk to you as well and be here.

Tania Stanly (00:50.49)

You know, I have been following you for quite some time and one of the things that I always wanted to understand is how can we heal the feminine energy on the planet? And I want, I'm really curious about how you entered into this. So what was the backstory? What happened? Can you tell us about what happened?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (00:59.502)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (01:07.598)

Of course. So I would say that it's a lifelong journey that brought me to that exact moment. But in 2020, I ended up a toxic relationship of almost four years where I experienced emotional abuse, financial abuse, psychological abuse, all the type of abuses that someone can experience. And

The crazy part is that I was already on the path of my personal development. I was studying to become a life coach. And when I got out of that relationship, which ended up pretty badly, and it was traumatic in itself the day that it ended, I really sighed as a sign of a wake -up call because it was really not really coming from me. The event that happened,

really gave me no choice but to end that relationship. And if it wasn't for that, I know that most probably I would have still been blinded by the abuse and would have continued in that relationship. And so it was only like, I think, eight months past the relationship. I was working on myself, doing all the things and...

only eight months after that I realized that I was experiencing abuse. And so I'm saying this because you can be so well aware of what being healthy is or what having a good mindset is. And yet when you're carrying so much trauma and are in deep trauma bonding relationships, you are literally blind all about that. And so I say that because I was.

pursuing my life coach certification. And so I had the tools to kind of know that it was not right. And yet I was not seeing the depth of the abuse that I was experiencing. And what really called me to rise in my power and heal my relationship blueprint is that night that it ended, it felt...

info@linamariagonzalez.com (03:28.142)

So like mind -blowing to me that my story of love and my story, the story in my relationships always ended with so much pain and was created with so much pain. And so when I got out of that relationship, I really made a vow to myself of like, yeah, no more. Like this is it. Like I don't want to experience that ever again.

And because I was already on the path of healing myself through that life coaching certification, because I was learning what I'm now doing with my clients. So I was experiencing that on myself and I was experiencing so many haha moments through that whole one year of my life. But then I was like, okay, I can really see that this area of my life is really full of unconscious programming.

which leads me always to choose that type of partner, which creates more and more pain in my life. And I'm not willing to compromise myself anymore. And so after that relationship ended, I really dive deep into healing my relationship blueprint. And I was really committed and determined to never again attract a narcissist or attract.

someone who would reflect my own wounding in relationships. And so, yeah, I did a lot of things to go deep and heal my relationship blueprint and through the whole process of letting go of the unconscious patterns and the things that I learned to tolerate or to believe about love. One thing that became really clear to me is that I was actually treating myself the way

my partners were treating me. And so one thing that I often experience in relationships is that every time I would experience high emotions like sadness, frustration, things like that, and I would touch that during an argument or whatever the situation was, all of my partners would always, through my life I mean, would react the same way. They would always be so...

info@linamariagonzalez.com (05:52.622)

pissed about my emotions. They would not accept my emotions. They would not welcome them. And it would be so heartbreaking to me because I just wanted to express myself. It was not like pointing fingers or I knew my intention was just like, I'm feeling this way and I'm trying to communicate how I feel. And it was always a problem. And through the healing process, I realized that I would also judge myself, criticize myself for feeling certain way. And

I had this deep belief or holding it together and having it all together. And when I realized that, that's when I really started to touching the depths of masculine and feminine energy because our emotions, our body, our experience is all about feminine energy and we all hold those both energies. I'm sure we're going to talk about that a little bit more in depth, but all of it to say that.

Tania Stanly (06:36.985)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (06:44.761)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (06:48.462)

when I touched this place inside myself and came into contact with my own masculine energy, that's when I realized that in my system that I was operating, I was oppressing, repressing, judging, criticizing, rejecting my own feminine energy the same way the men in my life were treating me. And so it was a big...

wake up call of being like, wait, no, that doesn't work. That's not how I want to treat myself. That's not how I want to live. That's not how I want to experience myself. And it was the call to really come back into my heart, my body and my emotions, which led me to really tap into my feminine energy. And from there, living from that space and experiencing myself from that space, everything truly changed.

Tania Stanly (07:44.409)

You know, I think your story is something that resonates with probably every single woman on the planet. I have been through a divorce myself. And you know, the part where you said, it's only eight months after you left the relationship when you saw how much it had wounded you. We never know how much it had affected you while you're in it. You think that, hmm, this is not big. I can handle it. You probably just slapped me once. It's not a big deal. Probably everyone goes through it. You probably just took...

info@linamariagonzalez.com (07:50.542)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (08:00.302)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (08:14.169)

It's just this much amount of money. It's not a big deal. Probably everyone does that. So we keep doing it over and over again and we keep reducing our bar so much. Can you take us back to the day or that moment when you decided that this is it and I'm breaking up?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (08:31.438)

Yes, of course. So we were at a birthday party for a friend. And the story is kind of funny now that I look at it. At the moment, it was not at all, but it's funny now. There's parts of it that I'm going to keep that I still don't share openly, but I'm going to share you the depth of what happened. So we were at a bar celebrating my best friend's boyfriend's birthday.

Tania Stanly (08:43.289)

No.

Tania Stanly (08:50.777)

Of course.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (09:01.462)

And at that time, we, my then boyfriend and I were really struggling financially because I kept giving him all my money because he started trading and he was losing all his money in trading. And so to put the context, we didn't have a lot of money at the moment because again, he had lost pretty much all of our money right that day or the day before, I think.

And so going out there was kind of a stretch because we're like, my God, like eating at a restaurant, drinks, everything, like the cab coming back is like a lot for the night and like, we don't have that much right now. So, long story short, we were at the bar, we were having fun and my then boyfriend, kind of, order some drinks for both of us. He went to the bathroom and at the same time.

one friend, male friend came and when we first ordered drink in the first round I paid for him. So he came by to say like, do you want another drink? I'm going to pay you back your drink. I was like, yeah, of course. And I'm telling the story because it's important for the setup of everything else. And so he ended up ordering a drink for me and also left. And when the barman came, he gave me the receipt for the drink my friend had ordered for me.

And so he had ordered a drink for him and a drink for me. And so I started looking around and I couldn't see him. And I started like far away talking to someone and I kind of felt bad of like running and telling the barmaid then he has to pay. So I was like, okay, I'm going to pay it. And later I'm going to ask him to pay for two drinks and then it's going to be like for me and my boyfriend. And so I'm paying with the little machine. My ex comes back.

Tania Stanly (10:41.466)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (10:49.817)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (10:56.878)

the other guy comes back and my ex saw that we have both drinks and I was paying. So he got super pissed because I was paying a drink for him. And I think it was the whole context of like, he was never jealous. So that's something that really like kind of baffled me in that moment. He was so, so pissed. And so he stormed out and I was like, wait a minute, like, wait, like there's nothing that happened. Literally nothing happened.

And so I follow him and like, he's screaming, like treating me names and like, I'm like just trying to calm him. And I had his little ticket for the code check in my purse. So he kept screaming to me to give that to him. And I was like, wait a minute. Like, I just want to understand like, what's up? Like there's nothing that happened. And then he hits my hand, like with the drink, the drink like, broke everywhere.

Tania Stanly (11:35.225)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (11:51.406)

And the girl at the code check was kind of scared, of course. So I ended up giving him the ticket for his code. And the first mistake that I did was to follow him. And so I asked my for my code as well. And the girl was like, are you sure? And she kept pulling my code towards her. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's okay. My first mistake. So I went and followed him. And yeah, long.

Tania Stanly (11:51.544)

Hmm.

Mm.

Tania Stanly (12:09.113)

Yeah.

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (12:18.286)

long unfolding of like back and forth, screaming, like he kept hitting me like on the arms. And at one point he was about to like order a cab for himself and wouldn't stop and just talk. And so I was like, it doesn't make sense. We can't pay like 80, two 80 cabs, $80 cabs right now. We don't have that money. Like, please, let's just stop talking and let's go home and like, let's do it.

Tania Stanly (12:46.937)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (12:47.79)

And at one point he was like burst again. My second mistake, I grabbed him by his coat to like pull him back and like say, stop, no, wait, we'll talk and we'll do it again. So I reached my hand to just like hold him back and he got pissed and pushed me. And at that moment, like I was, it was really pushing hard and I was trying to like, hold on and I was saying like, stop, stop. It's okay. Like.

Tania Stanly (12:51.705)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (13:09.305)

you

Tania Stanly (13:15.929)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (13:16.462)

when we don't have to do this. And so I ended up falling on the floor and my head hit the ground. And that's the moment, like when my head hit the ground and I saw the stars and the night sky, I was like, okay, I'm done. Like it was clear, like the hit of my head on the floor was like, yeah, no, this is over. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I literally needed that, a little slap.

Tania Stanly (13:22.361)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (13:38.937)

That was like a literal knock on the head to wake you up.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (13:46.086)

And thankfully, like there was nothing like major, like I had some scratches on my hand and my head didn't hit the heart. Like there was no real physical pain that was dramatic, but it was enough for me to be like, wait a minute, like, I don't deserve this. Like I didn't do anything to deserve this and clearly being treated this way.

Tania Stanly (14:08.505)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (14:15.854)

is just going to perpetuate more pain and I can't stay in this type of relationship. And the crazy part is that it's that because we were out there, I ended up calling back my friends because I said I had so many missing skulls and it's because the girl at the co -check knew one of my friends. And so she ran back to her and told her, your friend just left, but her boyfriend like hit her on the head and there she was worried.

And so my friends kept calling me, but while we were like talking, I wasn't looking at my phone. And so I ended up calling my friends. I was crying and everything. And one of them came outside and because they knew what happened for me, it was like the bar of like, yeah, this is over. There's no way you're, you're convincing yourself out of this. Now your friends know and they know the depth of what happened.

Tania Stanly (15:00.313)

Mm -hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (15:14.862)

And that is not going back. But I know that like, if he would have like, excuse himself, like apologize right away and like play the whole act of like, I'm so sorry, no, no, no. I know there's a part of me that would have continued and stayed there. And so that's why I say that it's kind of life that pushed me out because it gave me no choice. Like all the perfect conditions were there for me to be like, yeah, there.

Tania Stanly (15:17.465)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (15:41.849)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (15:44.814)

There's no other way. There's literally no other way. It's over. Yeah. And so that's why I say my first mistakes of like, it was my divine guidance of like, no, don't go there. But at the same time, and I always talk about this of like, every time you kind of go against your heart or against your soul and are in lack of integrity, it's like,

Tania Stanly (15:48.537)

It's like the divine plan, you know? It's perfect.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (16:12.206)

for those listenings, like you follow the path and every time you don't trust yourself or don't really respect yourself to the depth of your own alignment and integrity, it's like you take a fork in the road and every time you make a decision that is...

Tania Stanly (16:25.977)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (16:30.329)

Against your intuition.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (16:30.35)

abandoning yourself, you will take a further fork on the road. And so to like, just like a GPS to reroute to the main road, you can either choose yourself and come back and be, yeah, true. The GPS keeps telling me that I need to reroute. I'm going to take the other route to come back. But I also see it as divine intervention where there is crisis or something.

that we can consider dark that happens because that amount of pressure or slab is needed for you to come back into alignment. And so for me, I could see that all these decisions of that night of like taking the fort, taking the fort, taking the fort, it was inevitable for me to come back. And I had that divine intervention of like, we're just going to create the circumstances that are painful enough.

Tania Stanly (17:06.361)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (17:16.377)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (17:28.142)

to break this illusion and for you to come back into alignment. And so at the same time, I can see now looking back that was, I made a mistake. It was so clear. The guidance was so clear. The girl, like everything was so clear. Like, yeah, no, stay here. But at the same time, I can see that the whole point, the whole thing was orchestrated as well for me to come back to myself.

Tania Stanly (17:52.761)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (17:58.169)

It makes sense. It was the same thing for me too, you know. It's like, it's something that we keep questioning all the time. Why did we stay so long? Why? Why do you think we stay in such toxic relationships so long?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (18:16.494)

The easy way to put it, your unconscious mind will always choose familiar pain over unfamiliar pleasure. Because the main, main purpose of your unconscious is to keep you alive and protect you. And also it is trying to always keep you in an homeostasis, which is regulating yourself to be in status quo per se.

Tania Stanly (18:27.193)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (18:45.39)

So if we look at the body, if you're having fever, the body is going to start shivering to turn the heat down. I mean, sweating to let go of the heat. And if you're cold and the temperature goes below 37, which is their homeostasis, it's going to start shivering to create some friction to build the heat up. And so your body will always do something to keep you in your status quo.

Tania Stanly (18:55.033)

Mm -hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (19:15.758)

And so for the woman that stays so long, like both of us, most often than not, it's almost impossible, I would say at this point, that we didn't learn and were conditioned to believe that this was the norm. And so there was some part of us that was conditioned to believe that that type of relationship was the norm in love.

Tania Stanly (19:33.881)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (19:43.214)

And so unconsciously, you will always seek partners that make you feel like home, which is what you experience growing up around dynamics and relationships. And of course it is passed down trauma and also experienced trauma. So some, some experience of abuse are like literally physical and you can see them and some are covert. And so some,

Women can be like, yeah, but my dad was never like physical with my mom or like abusive in that way, but it can be really covered as well. And we're really sensitive when we're young because we only have an unconscious mind and we're absorbing everything that is around us. And so even if there's like no seeable abuse, we're still anchoring all of that information in our system because that's how we are.

Tania Stanly (20:17.721)

Hmm...

Tania Stanly (20:39.961)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (20:41.582)

learning to operate in the world as we grow up. And you look at a child, they don't have a critical mind. They don't know what's good, what's wrong. And until we're seven years old, we're really just a sponge of information, seeking out the information in our environment through the models of authority that are in our lives to really create a map in the world and be like, yeah, that's what I have to do to survive. That's what I have to do to operate in this reality. And.

when we are in an environment where that is the norm, that becomes our norm. And so growing up, you will always choose something that is familiar so that you reenact those patterns and believe them.

Tania Stanly (21:27.673)

It makes sense because I think when I chose my ex -husband as well, some of the characteristics that he was showing is similar to those that my father was showing too. And it's, yeah, and I can't even, like, and the thing is we grew up seeing the thing, we think that it's normal and it's okay, but, and then we see it happening for so long and we know that our, like, our parents are not really bad people.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (21:39.63)

Yes, literally.

Tania Stanly (21:57.113)

So then we learn to just deal with it. What do you think are some of the abuses that happens? Because a lot of the women think that unless they actually get a knock on the head, it's something that they can still go on with.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (22:00.046)

this.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (22:13.678)

Yeah, I would say there could be, there are some that are really obvious, but we don't consider as such. But I would say one of them is guest lighting, which is really confusing for someone who is experiencing guest lighting. And guest lighting is in short terms, like someone disheven or.

Tania Stanly (22:30.361)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (22:40.751)

not accepting your reality and trying to change your experience so that you believe it's wrong.

Tania Stanly (22:48.597)

my god, yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (22:49.742)

And so often you kind of, it's really mind boggling and I experienced that so much. And like every time my head would hurt and I was like, am I crazy? Like I said that, but now he's saying that I never said that or I said something else or I know he said that, but now he's telling me that he didn't say that and he said that. And like, it's so confusing when you're in...

Tania Stanly (23:00.857)

Bye.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (23:13.39)

a relationship where you experience that because literally everything you do, everything you experience, then you second -guess yourself because you don't know anymore what's true and what's not. And if you are the problem misinterpreting what happened. And so that is something that is kind of obvious, but it's not when you're experiencing. And that can be so subtle when someone manipulates covertly or...

Tania Stanly (23:14.105)

yeah.

Tania Stanly (23:29.977)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (23:42.894)

psychically abuses currently, which is not direct. Let's say they don't use anger. They don't use like shouting at you, but like it's all really, I would say in the background through the back door. That is really, really mind boggling for there's just women, but everyone experienced that.

Tania Stanly (23:59.737)

Do you think they know that they gaslighting? Are they doing it intentionally? Because that's something I will never understand. Like, are they dumb or me? Who's crazy here?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (24:07.342)

It's hard to know.

as hard to know, to be honest. We have to look at it through the lens of everything we do is a solution, not a problem. So even narcissistic people who are that are narcissistic traits, they honestly think about, I'm gonna do this consciously and I'm gonna save that so that I put her in doubt.

It's just a mechanism that they learn to operate in, in order to survive. And for them, I would say that, of course, like someone who's really centered and in their hearts, like I always say, energy doesn't lie. Every human being has the ability to truly feel into what's happening, their actions, their behavior, their thoughts, their emotion, and really discern. Is that coming from love? Is this coming from fear? Is this coming from...

Tania Stanly (24:45.081)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (25:09.71)

the past, from abuse, we all have that ability to discern what is for the highest good of us and all people and what is really true to our heart or if it's coming from something else. So any human being has that ability. But of course, some people, just like me, when you are so ingrained in that trauma that you don't know what you don't know.

Tania Stanly (25:17.369)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (25:38.734)

So when the unconscious stays unconscious, it's hard to kind of see what's happening. And the same way, if that was their norm of people of like using that mechanism of guest lighting and manipulating others to survive, or in some sense to feel like they needed to survive this way, I don't think that every person that has those traits or have done that is necessarily.

Tania Stanly (25:39.065)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (25:54.617)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (26:08.878)

conscious that they're doing it every time they're doing it. I think when you're really there, you can know like after the fact at least of like, wait a minute, like this is not creating what I want. This is not serving that person. This is not loving. And so we all have the ability and the responsibility to change anything.

Tania Stanly (26:15.609)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (26:36.025)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (26:36.334)

So I'm not, I couldn't say that it's 100 % conscious all the time, but I do still think and believe that we do have the ability to change that.

Tania Stanly (26:49.657)

change. I saw that I read in your stories that even after the breakup it was difficult for you to come out of it. Can you tell us what happened?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (27:00.27)

what do you mean by out of it?

Tania Stanly (27:03.065)

So it takes a lot of courage for someone to leave the relationship, right? I mean, you're taking that moment while you were lying on the floor looking at the stars that that's it, this is it, I'm done. It's so difficult still to get out of it, even if you have made the choice. How is it for you to get out of it?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (27:19.886)

Yeah. Yeah, I would say that the commitment and the decision was done. So it was sure for me that I would never go back into that. What was hard was still being trapped in the codependency attachment to that person. And even though I knew, like, I was manipulated and like,

Tania Stanly (27:41.849)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (27:49.966)

experienced some sort of abuse, there was still a part of me even like three months after the breakup that would panic thinking that maybe they were...

doing wrong or feeling like things not going right for them. And my savior would always come up and it would be like, literally helplessness of like, my God, what if something wrong really happens? And so it was long for me to put my boundaries. And that's something that I didn't experience in that relationship at all, because even after the breakup, I was still experiencing financial abuse. I had many things under my name. I...

Tania Stanly (28:08.185)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (28:32.782)

was the one who moved back into my mom's. So he was staying in the place. Was not paying rent. I was paying my part. We ended up going to court. The lender brought us to court because he didn't pay his part. He didn't show up and I had to pay for him because my name was on the lease. So like for a year I kept like experiencing that and I was like so frustrated and I felt so like abandoned by the universe. But at the same time,

Tania Stanly (28:41.209)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (28:48.505)

Hmm...

info@linamariagonzalez.com (29:02.542)

again, luckily through the whole year, I had healed my relationship blueprint. And so like I was now able to discern consciously, okay, wait, this reaction is coming from fast wounding. I know that I'm being called to put my boundaries to do this, to do that. And so I did put my boundaries in the extent of the situation I was in, but I never got the chance to really put my boundary in and.

really assert my power in an effective way. With that, I mean, I could have called the cell phone company and cut the line. I could have canceled the Wi -Fi that I was paying for my apartment while he was living there and I was not. I could have like cut Netflix, things like that, that I could have done like, why would I pay for someone who doesn't care and clearly is never gonna pay me?

Tania Stanly (29:36.761)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (29:50.489)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (30:00.078)

And why am I again trying to save him when he clearly showed to me that he was not in the relationship as deep as I was. Like there was not a team, team effort there. Like it was clearly not mutual, but I was not able to do that. I felt so bad for him that my pattern was still leading me in terms of wanting to save him or wanting him not to suffer.

Tania Stanly (30:07.929)

He didn't care.

Tania Stanly (30:15.769)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (30:21.881)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (30:31.118)

And so I was still mothering him in some ways.

Tania Stanly (30:33.273)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (30:36.462)

when in reality the biggest act of unconditional love would have been to take my power and allow him to rise in his power. And that's something that I realized too, is like me giving him all my money because he lost it was not an act of love. It was actually the opposite. But in the moment, so it's like, I'm going to be the worst partner if I don't help him, if I don't pay for him, if I don't take care of this because like,

Tania Stanly (30:46.745)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (31:06.286)

he doesn't have the means right now. Like it would be such a bad partner to say no. And so I kept saying yes. And I kept like, spreading myself thin even to ways that I could not. Like I took a loan. Like I did so many things to try to like help him, but it was not loving. I was rubbing him of the opportunity to come back in his power, take responsibility for his own actions and actually,

Tania Stanly (31:20.089)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (31:25.529)

Mm.

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (31:36.814)

become a sovereign being or actually have the opportunity to become a sovereign being. But I kept giving him all the things he needed for him to not having to change. Like he didn't need to change.

Tania Stanly (31:47.769)

Do you think at any point, I know so many women who do that and sometimes even I do it too. Do you think it's because we feel like if we stop doing that, then we are gonna be just as bad as them or because we get this false sense of belief that because we do this, we are better off and so we deserve a better life or something?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (32:10.606)

Yeah, I think it's many things. One is the repression of our feminine energy and especially our dark feminine energy, which we have learned to believe it's bad. So our frustration or our sacred anger, all of those emotions that are not pretty or cute, we have learned to never go there because we're going to be undesirable. People will burn us at the stake, literally.

Tania Stanly (32:17.561)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (32:24.249)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (32:32.089)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (32:35.929)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (32:40.846)

And that is something that is running in our DNA deeply. Like the witch hunt is a real thing that happened. It's just not just something that we say for stories. It's literally something that happened where the, not to go too deep into this, but the Catholic church literally killed so many natives, communities, and so many women that were connected to her earth and that had that.

Tania Stanly (33:02.217)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (33:08.91)

intuition and knowing of being connected with the cycles, with the earth and everything, with the underworld. And they did it in a way to create a specific agenda and disconnect people from their power. So now people needed to go to church and to do certain things to now have the connection they had with God. And so it's a whole process in itself of the construction of what we know and everything.

Tania Stanly (33:11.193)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (33:36.27)

but it's literally something that happened. And so so many women were killed for being in their power and being in touch with their emotions, intuition, with the cycles, with nature. And so it does live in our DNA of that fear of like, wait a minute, if I really step into my power, if I really put my boundaries, if I really show myself as powerful as I am, there is danger for my life.

Tania Stanly (33:41.369)

Mm.

Tania Stanly (33:48.857)

Mm -mm.

Tania Stanly (34:04.889)

That makes sense.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (34:05.39)

And so yes, it's in our DNA, but we also experience the result of the patriarchy in all our relationships, in our culture as a whole, literally. Like the whole thing, like...

Tania Stanly (34:18.521)

That makes sense. Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (34:24.014)

like be cute and smile and like do all of those things. That's how we perceive the feminine, but like being sensual and cute and like flirty and desirable is one part of the feminine. But the feminine is the full expression of textures of life, meaning the full spectrum of emotions. And all emotions have power.

Tania Stanly (34:26.073)

Yeah, we don't want to be the bitch.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (34:51.31)

And for those listening, and maybe you knew, maybe you didn't know, but like literally emotionally thinking, psychologically thinking, anger is often the emotion that informs you that your boundaries have been crossed. So anger, it's not less desirable or bad compared to joy. No, no, it's an important experience of the human experience that allows you to be informed of what is happening in your environment.

Tania Stanly (35:06.649)

Wow.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (35:21.006)

And so emotions is energy in motion and energy has information. Energy is always information. And so when we started really tapping into that, we realized that it is a full service for everyone around us to literally repress our own feminine energy, especially when there is frustration, anger, like.

So many things, like sadness, like when you feel so angry that you cry, it's because there's something going wrong and there's something your body is trying to tell you that like, let's stop this. Like there's need something to happen so that this is over. And when I look back, I experienced so much frustration during...

the arguments I had with my exes or even with my dad when I think about it because I was being like gaslighted and even though my mind was not comprehending what was happening, my body knew and my body was informing me. But because we are in that loop of most men, I don't want to say all men because there are so many like healthy masculine are there and.

Tania Stanly (36:27.353)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (36:37.593)

Wonderful men, yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (36:40.238)

There's so many men working and being devoted as us to heal and to create a safe space for women. So it's not true that all men are like that, but there's a majority of, just like us, of the majority still holding the majority of the wounding, which is something that is running through our whole society. It's just not one person. Like there are certain people that...

Tania Stanly (37:08.057)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (37:09.806)

have more specific wounding, but the patriarchy in itself of like repressing the feminine and only valuing the masculine is something that is broad and general in our whole society. And so all of it to say that we are doing those things, one, because we are not in peace with our own feminine energy. We don't often even know what are.

what the experience of being in our feminine is. And secondly, even when we have the courage, like from a primal way of like, you don't know that, but there's a part of you that wants to scream because you feel so frustrated or things like that, which is a normal response to them so much abuse. The other person on the other end will respond in the very way why you don't want to scream in the first place.

Tania Stanly (37:54.841)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (38:08.633)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (38:09.742)

So it's a double bind. It's like, there's an urge of expressing, but you're scared of all the consequences because you carry that pattern and you know how scary it is. But then we don't have the space to actually express ourselves and be inter feminine and be received and be honored to be inter feminine.

Tania Stanly (38:34.233)

Yeah, that makes total sense, especially the part where you said that anger is them. It's a sign of you knowing that your boundaries are not being met, because, you know, when I was going through the when I was in these bad relationship, I was a total angry bitch. And that became an excuse for them to say that I'm the crazy one, because it's like, she's just as she's just angry person, you know. So there's something wrong with her.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (38:56.462)

Yes, I know.

Tania Stanly (39:02.233)

How come after I left the relationship, I became like a calm person? How come I'm just so calm? Everything is totally fine, right? And this is what everyone uses to blame the woman. What do you think are some of the biggest misconceptions that a woman has about being in their feminine energy?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (39:14.83)

Yes.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (39:23.15)

that using, and I know it's the term dark, and I resonate with dark feminine because it is like the deeper emotions when you think about the earth, the soil, on the ground, there's no light. And it's not because there is no light that it means that it's bad. Like plants grow in the dark. We grew in a new tourist where it was completely dark. Like,

Tania Stanly (39:41.657)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (39:51.438)

Creation happens when there is like, the seed of creation happens in the dark. That's something we have to understand. So right away, the misconception of thinking that dark is evil or bad or wrong, that first place. So naturally we also have a compass of labeling emotions. This is light and happy and positive and high vibes and this is low vibes, wrong, evil. And so,

Tania Stanly (39:58.137)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (40:19.086)

right away, like labeling emotions is something that again comes from conditioning. But also through our own experience of those emotions, when we go deeper into anger or like frustration or helplessness or like, like even depression, we know that's not something that is positive. We know that is something that in the terms of the sense we're not feeling at our highest.

but it's not something that is bad. And when we learn to transmute those emotions, we realize that the more we allow ourselves to feel that, the more fuel we have to actually be in our highest form and our highest expression. And so can you repeat the question because I kind of open it.

Tania Stanly (41:01.113)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (41:08.185)

That's okay. How do you think we can, what are the biggest misconceptions that a woman has about being a dear feminine?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (41:12.366)

yeah, the misconstrued, yeah. Exactly. So I would say, laboring in emotions as good or bad, thinking that dark energy, dark feminine energy is evil, and thinking that having boundaries, expressing yourself, and being really direct and clear about what you will and will not accept as being mean. That's something that...

Tania Stanly (41:37.753)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (41:39.918)

Still today I can see in so many subtle layers that parents still playing out like even just posting content when there's parts of me that want to be more direct and be like, let's wake up. But then I'm like, no, what if I hurt someone and what if someone thinks I mean and it's the same way like. If we use the example of saying no, of giving my money and being like, I'm sorry, I don't have enough in there anymore money to give you like take care of your things.

Tania Stanly (41:43.801)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (41:52.057)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (41:58.009)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (42:10.83)

The fear of doing that and for my ex to think I was mean was so much that I keep pushing by my boundaries and I'd be like, no, wait, it's not that bad. I'm just going to continue. Like I'm going to say yes again and I'm going to say yes again. So that is such a big misconception. And of course, people who benefit from you always saying yes will think you're mean because you're not giving them exactly what they want from you.

Tania Stanly (42:26.713)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (42:37.273)

Hmmmm

info@linamariagonzalez.com (42:41.102)

But the people who do respect you and honor you will be really, one, respectful and two, grateful that you express yourself because they wouldn't want you any other way. And it's funny because now with my now boyfriend, who's like, I didn't go went into that, but it's the most loving relationship I've ever experienced. The most open conscious were like literally like.

Tania Stanly (42:41.561)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (43:08.558)

being in my dark feminine is not only welcome, but it's honored. And that is really life changing when even sometimes I'm like, wait, is this real? But all of it to say that when I was really initiated through my dark feminine energy,

Tania Stanly (43:18.221)

You

info@linamariagonzalez.com (43:28.838)

my level of acceptance or my level of tolerance became really, really small when it comes to ego, when it comes to things that are not aligned or projected into me. And that is often the gift. That's what I learned. It's like when you experience so much abuse in one area and you transmute that, it often becomes your biggest gift. And so for me, since healing my relationship with Shimbu Grant,

Tania Stanly (43:37.657)

Even more.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (43:56.526)

seeing through illusions, sensing through illusions has become something that is really easy for me. And so before I was trapped in that and I would not say that and I was abused by the illusions. Now I can sense them like miles away and it's a full body know the second I come into contact, whether it's with someone I know, I don't know, I know. Like this is a know for me. And so...

Tania Stanly (44:10.041)

Hmm. Yeah.

Tania Stanly (44:21.585)

I'm sorry.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (44:24.654)

in my relationship that is really present, where we're having discussions, where we are communicating and there's some sort of projection or something that's happening that is not coming from the highest form of love. For me, the boundary is really simple to put and really quick. And I have told my boyfriend so many times, I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like...

You have such a hard time with me, like I accepted so much shit and now you do like the smallest thing that I don't even care to be true. But like my body is knowing you are aware of it right away. And his response is always the same. It's like, yeah, I don't want it any other way because if you didn't do that, that meant you would compromise yourself. And maybe when someone who compromises herself is not empowering, it's not empowering at all.

Tania Stanly (44:54.073)

you

Tania Stanly (45:18.841)

Beautiful. Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (45:21.326)

So when you think about it, it is true. If your relationship relies on you compromising yourself, how is that a relationship?

Tania Stanly (45:33.785)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (45:33.806)

And if you turn it around, like, would you want to be with someone who is always compromising him or herself in order to pretend that it's working? Like when you feel into it, it's so like, no, like there is no real connection there. There's no even purity into it. Like it's a full on act and an act that is not serving anyone and that distorts so many things. And so.

Tania Stanly (45:45.401)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (46:03.854)

That big misconception, I believe, is one of the biggest ones because the more we get to express ourselves and really put our boundaries, the more we realize that it's the healthiest and most loving thing we can do.

Tania Stanly (46:21.113)

That's a beautiful answer. You know, one of the biggest questions where we have a lot of debates with people is, should we split the bill on the first date? What do you think?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (46:29.294)

I'm sorry.

my god. In my opinion, like for my standards and what I want in my life, it's a no. For me it's a no. I know.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (46:46.958)

It's like using a lot of discernment and it comes back to really being able to feel through the person because I've had this conversation with friends as well. We can go easily in the intensity of like, if he's not paying for everything for me, then he's not good enough. And like, we have to really feel true with our hearts because maybe your soulmate,

is starting his new business, he just quit his job. He's starting his new business, he's short on money, and maybe you've been promoted at the highest of your career or started your business five years ago and you're making so much money. And so financially, you're in a place that you're much more free than him. And that doesn't mean that he won't provide or that he's not leading from his healthy masculine. And so in that sense,

not paying in the first date wouldn't mean directly that is not good enough or not in this masculine, but there's discernment because I'm sure a man that is for him is really important to provide even if it doesn't have the means right away. I'm sure like at least like his situation is really bad. One, it would create another date.

so that he can provide in ways that he know he can provide, it doesn't feel short. Or two, will provide and will express that right away in the relationship of what's important to him. So if he expressed that for him, it's really important to provide and to create that safety in the family and in the ways that he can provide. But right now his condition, his circumstances don't allow him to.

Tania Stanly (48:12.76)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (48:40.238)

providing the way that he would want to, then you can feel into it and be like, yeah, it's true. Like if I really feel his heart and I'm truly is trustworthy and I can feel him. So like.

so clearly and it's a great connection, you will see that what he's doing right now.

equals the vision that he has for his future.

Tania Stanly (49:08.121)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (49:09.806)

And so I always say date is reality, not his potential, because that can be situations where he cannot provide right now, but that doesn't mean that he is not the embodiment of the provider. That doesn't mean that. And so when you're able to really feel through him and what he says, what he does, is it all matching up? Like some people are like, actions are louder than words, but no.

Tania Stanly (49:25.625)

Thank you.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (49:39.598)

Some people pay in the first date and then they scream at you because they paid two times in a row. So it's like, yeah, no, actions are not louder than words. It's like, do they match? Are they in integrity? Are they in alignment? Is life what he says he's going to do and what he does right now in alignment? And that's why I say date is reality, not his potential, because you can create a full on potential and all of his reality is walking him.

Tania Stanly (49:39.617)

Mm -hmm.

Tania Stanly (49:51.609)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (50:08.846)

everywhere but the potential that you keep playing in your mind. And so that is the first thing. And secondly, again, a man could pay in the first date and you're like, yeah, nice. I'm being taken care of. But then through the whole date, your heart keeps clenching and like what he says, the way he talks to you or like even in the most subtle ways, you're like, so it's not just easy paying on the first date.

Tania Stanly (50:22.891)

Mm -mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (50:38.414)

Like, are you feeling safe? Are you feeling opened? And of course that is a big part, but then also if that's something that is really important for you, the providing and all of that, then it's all about having an open conversation about it and really being able to go there because that's the only way you're going to know if for that man, one, he's in the same page with you around that.

Tania Stanly (50:38.489)

Mm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (51:07.086)

specific thing because there's still a lot of conditioning around 50 -50 and how that is beneficial for everyone. And I'm not saying that it's wrong because there are families that work that way and both people are so happy and things like that. So it's not saying that it's wrong, but where is it coming from? It's always a question. Like, where is it coming from? Is it from like a resentment of like, again, seeing the feminine as

weakest and so she has to prove herself in that way. Or is it the conditions right now, it's not that, or is it we try better both of us when we both contribute to the financial means of a relationship in the family. So it all depends, but I would say like the most important thing is like feeling through where it's coming from and the foundation of that very behavior action.

Tania Stanly (52:05.849)

Yeah, always just listen to your intuition and that's where a lot of the women don't do it anymore. They're very logical. They stop listening to their intuition. Till...

info@linamariagonzalez.com (52:09.614)

Mm -hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (52:13.998)

Yeah, and I would add something is like what I was saying, like there are women that are in relationships where they were always provided for financially and they never had to think about that. It was clear from the beginning and maybe they didn't even even work and it was they were cared for right away in that way, but they never were provided emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, energetically.

Tania Stanly (52:23.961)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (52:37.241)

Hmm.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (52:43.566)

So yes, it's important for some women providing energy, but it doesn't start and ends at financial. Like men can provide in so many other ways. And it's not because it's providing for you financially that it means that you are fully fulfilled and feeling filled in the relationship because there's so many other ways. And you can be in a relationship where he doesn't provide financially, but he provides in all the other ways, and you don't even care.

that he doesn't provide financially because it's not in burden. You're receiving everything you need in that relationship and more.

Tania Stanly (53:13.049)

Hmm.

Tania Stanly (53:20.313)

Makes sense. You also have a course, right? So can you tell us about Open Hearted, the course?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (53:24.014)

Yes I have.

Yes. So Open Hearted is a SICK SMOND group coaching program where we really focus on healing your relationship blueprint, reclaiming your feminine power so that you can open your heart and really release all the unconscious patterns and belief systems that are existing in your consciousness and your body so that you can really open your heart and magnetize healthy and conscious love. So,

It was the creation of the very path that I walked. And it was so clear to me that women needed this type of space and is a group program for that very reason. Because when we're going through those things, it's so easy to isolate ourselves and to feel like we're alone in this. And when we start healing in the presence of other women, there is something really powerful that happens that cannot be explained. Again, the...

Feminine energy, the feminine, is not something that you understand. It's something that you experience. Just as you cannot understand what anger means, even if someone explains it to you, it's something that you can experience and you know because you've experienced it. And so creating this space is really about allowing yourself to let go of everything you...

we're caring about love and relationships and you rewire all of that so that you can actually experience the love that you always wanted.

Tania Stanly (55:03.225)

Beautiful. Could you have any final advice for our audience?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (55:08.206)

Yes, of course.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (55:12.622)

My mission in this lifetime is really to help women remember their power because when we talk about...

And I'm maybe gonna be emotional about this, but when we think about healing your relationship blueprint and why I'm so passionate about this is that it's not just for you to manifest your dream partner. Like, of course that's amazing and life changing in itself. I've experienced that and I would not want any other way, but the commitment and the determination of really saying yes to yourself fully.

happens when you realize the impact of your decisions. If every woman in this planet were connected to their own feminine energy, to the divine wisdom of their heart, their bodies.

We wouldn't be experiencing the amount of trauma that we're experiencing because the feminine leads and the masculine actually needs the feminine to expand even more. We think that the masculine needs, but it's actually the opposite. The feminine leads in the spiritual and energetic realms because the feminine is the one who's playing in that realm. And so when the feminine is able to feel through what's unseeable,

then she knows and she can bring that into reality. And then the masculine is here to be the protector and the guardian of that very desire. And so.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (56:49.806)

Our own masculine is really here to be the protector and the guardian of our own heart and our own heart desires. And as I was saying, the real commitment happens when you realize the power of your decision, what you are doing or what you are not doing. And not healing my relationship blueprint would have meant that I would continue to perpetuate the trauma that I experienced. And so that my future children would have experienced the same environment.

that I would have experienced. And that's where I get emotional because...

If we want to change the world, that's where it starts. That's where it starts. It's not like stopping wars and doing all of that. Of course, it's so important, but stopping the wars and doing all of that will be the byproduct of every woman being, human being, being integrated in a union in their own feminine and masculine. And so reclaiming your feminine,

coming back to your heart, coming back into your power, it's not just that you manifest so many beautiful things materially. You're literally creating a new story for every new generations to come. And so doing that work is not just, yeah, nice, I'm gonna experience the love of my life and I'm gonna experience the most beautiful relationship. It's no, I'm gonna...

change the course of action for literally every human being that is going to come after me. And even if you don't have children, you will still be in some extent a figure of authority to a child in your life. And you will be the walking evidence that there is something different available for them. And that's what we really can change the world because that is why me personally,

info@linamariagonzalez.com (58:48.878)

I didn't have the tools to experience that naturally in my life is because I didn't have that evidence in any way, shape or form. I had that evidence that that was possible. And that was actually the norm of what it meant to be in a healthy and conscious relationship, what it meant to be in love. And so my advice to you is to really remember your why and the fastest and

best way to collapse timelines and to change your life as a whole is when you really understand that everything you do is so much bigger than yourself. When you tie up your goals, your manifestations to your purpose, to your vision, to something that is so much bigger than yourself, because it is. It is. And you're not just changing your life for yourself and the generations to come, but you're also literally liberating.

your lineage and everything that came before you. And that's also going to show up. Like I can see my mom, since I've done all this work, how positively that has affected her, how actually she changed without me having to tell her what to do. But because she saw my evolution and she saw that I don't take no shit no more, then I'm now walking evidence of what it's...

possible for her too. And energetically and spiritually, it's also, you are here for that reason. Like if you feel the call and you've, you felt that frustration so hard, just like you shared Tanya as well, it's like when you feel that frustration of like, why is that, does it have to be this hard? Like, I don't want this to be this hard. And you know that you're being called forward because you know you're came here for so much more than that.

It's because you were chosen. You were chosen to be the catalyst and to be that person that would have the courage, the determination, the capacity to liberate that. And so that is something that is really important for me to share. And I share all the time in my group spaces and with the women I work. It's like, this is so much bigger than us. It's so much bigger than us. And when we are able to see that in that way,

Tania Stanly (01:00:59.481)

Yeah.

Tania Stanly (01:01:10.905)

It is.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (01:01:14.67)

there's nothing that can stop us. And so yes, it's hard to work on yourself and then go back in the dating world and meet an emotionally unavailable man again and being hurt again. But the more you remember why you're doing that, the more you're willing to trust that there's so much more than whatever your third reality is showing you because you know it's not the end and you know.

where you are going. And to kind of summarize that or close that is like meeting my now boyfriend.

And my soulmate, which is him, didn't start the moment I met him. It started the moment I made the decision and I said never again. Because every decision that I took from that moment on in my life and for myself was the thing that led me to him. The very decisions that I made for myself was the reality that brought me to him.

Tania Stanly (01:01:59.737)

Hehehehe.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (01:02:24.558)

that brought us together, should I say, because it goes for him too. Like every decision he decided to do for himself and no goal less than that was the tread that collapsed our realities together. And so...

Tania Stanly (01:02:28.729)

Yeah.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (01:02:42.254)

When you're choosing yourself, you're also choosing the partner that you really want and desire because the love of your life, your soulmate is walking where you are walking. And so the more you choose yourself, the more you're literally drawing that person closer to you and closer to you. And everything is the mind timing. So it's not about like when and how, but it's realizing that it's costing me too much.

to not make that choice. I'm losing too much to not make that choice. And even though it's hard and scary to put your boundary the first time you do it and you're like, what, I'm gonna die. Then you realize that it's going to cost you so much to not do it.

Tania Stanly (01:03:28.409)

Absolutely. And lastly, where can we find you?

info@linamariagonzalez.com (01:03:32.91)

Yes, so all my socials pretty much are linaMariaG under square on Instagram, TikTok. And I'm mostly active on Instagram lately. And you can also see on my bio, my stand store, stand store slash linaMariaG, I think so, to see like the freebies that I offer, some free courses. Also, if you're interested in learning more about the...

open -hearted program, you can DM me heart on Instagram and we can talk to see if it's a great fit for you. But yeah, that's pretty much it. My DMs are always open as well. If anyone has a question, wants to learn more about what I offer or just what would be best for them in my world, I'm all open.

Tania Stanly (01:04:22.713)

You know, one of the biggest things that we want on the planet is to heal the feminine, the suppressed feminine energy. And once that is done, all the trauma, all the wars, all of that will automatically stop. So thank you so much, Lina, for doing this massive work for humanity. We really appreciate it. Thank you for coming on the show.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (01:04:29.07)

Yes.

info@linamariagonzalez.com (01:04:41.55)

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me with such a blast.